For me, I think there are two reasons. Sometimes I can't look at her because I have deep levels of shame and I am afraid of being judged. Other times, I can't look into her eyes because she's not judging me. When I look her in the eye and see acceptance instead of judgment, I feel like I'm going to lose the tight grip I have in my emotions.

So I can't look because I think she will judge and I can't look if I know she isn't judging. That translates into only looking at her when we are chatting about the week at the beginning.