Hello everybody. I subscribed to his forum days back and finally decided to post about my situation.

I am a 30 year old male suffering from Depression. I am a Graphic, Web and 3D designer.

It started when I lost my father 2 years ago through cancer. Four months later I lost my grandmother…to whom I was quite attached. Then after that I went through a separation from my fiancée. It was my decision to end an 8 year old relationship. At the same time, my sister got divorced and I decided to give her a place to stay in my house. I thought that may be it would be better to have somebody here with me rather than being alone. But my sister already had her plans (and I don’t blame her) and didn’t see my depression as something serious enough.

I am a loner by nature. I don’t have a lot of friends. I choose them carefully that’s why. I have been deceived times and times again in the past and since some years I learnt that lesson. I am also not really a family guy. Ideally my life would revolve only around my spouse or girlfriend and may be our kids.

Lately…it has become more and more difficult. I had a home business with my now girlfriend. Fierce competition has forced us to leave that for a job. My current girlfriend has been around for 4 years… We were friends before and now fiancés since December 2013. We have been looking for jobs since almost a year now… and she got one since 2 months. Although I am genuinely happy for her…I am left alone once again and this time it’s really hard. Although she has tried to sort out a way to be with me and work at the same time (something which I really appreciate)…it’s hard. As soon as she’s not with me…the same feeling of loneliness overtakes me. I must admit that I am lost at this moment. I am trying as hard as I can to keep myself busy with my hobbies…painting, reading…etc. And besides all, I am still applying for jobs and all.

I hope that I find a solution soon. Being able to talk about it is already a big step for me.

I am sorry if this post was a bit lengthy…but my God I feel better