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Old Aug 03, 2014, 06:37 AM
AllyIsHopeful AllyIsHopeful is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: ....
Posts: 1,238
Ok, maybe this is paranoia, but my therapist seriously has me wondering if she reads this forum. I mean we've talked about it quite a bit, so maybe!

The first weird thing was that she only commented on my weight and appearance one more time, the day after that thread, and all of the sudden it all stopped. She hasn't said a word. In fact, she went back to saying things like "you're so beautiful"...things she used to say all the time.

2 weeks ago she says "Ally I noticed you have been avoiding eye contact the past 3 sessions. This is not good, it means you don't feel safe".
Well I didn't even realize I had been avoiding eye contact. We just started touching on trauma the past 2 months and she asked me to journal about some of these instances. I suppose I was feeling gross and ashamed and felt like she knew all these terrible things about me. For the first time in a year, she said "Ally this is your safe place. You have nothing to worry about here". Neither one of us realized how badly I needed to hear that again.
She was trying to suggest ways to help as she mentioned wearing sunglasses. The visual made me laugh.

Another weird thing is a couple sessions ago, I finally found the courage to tell her I hated the room we were in for one of our sessions every week, and that I always left feeling worse from that room. She lit up and adorably said "let's go to a different room, I don't like it either!"
In the new room she says "too much distance!" And I agreed and.she moved sooo much closer. I told her I hated distance and she agreed our connection is stronger closer totether.
Then she said "we can even sit on the floor if you'd like!"

At that point I was just looking at her like "who are you???"

At the end she acknowledged her awareness that there would be big changes soon (I'm moving and starting at a university end of this month) and how she wanted to be as flexible as possible with me. She said "I'm not going to sabotage your progress in any way so we will do whatever's necessary".

I seriously left these sessions holding back happy tears of relief.

But I am suspicious of all these weird parallels and her bringing everything up without me saying a word.
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<3Ally

  • Clinophobia
  • MDD
  • GAD
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growlycat, precaryous, ThisWayOut
Thanks for this!
precaryous