Hey. I think that things perhaps didn't go as well as they could have...

I'm sorry that he wasn't able to shut his hole and just listen to you say how you felt about various things without jumping in to defend himself. I think that it could have been really useful for him to have just listened... And used what you said to investigate how you felt about the prospect of termination (abandonment) and the like.

Instead... He took it personally and got defensive. So then, of course, there is the temptation to justify your upset, and then there is the temptation for him to defend himself all the more... And the cycle of invalidation and disconnection has well and truely got up off the ground.

E.g.,

>I felt the need to say, "as a former investigator, I'm usually not wrong when I make lists like this". He said "but you are wrong, completely".

He failed to see that you were expressing your FEELINGS about the events that had transpired and that feelings can't be wrong. You were defending your feelings and he was defending his acts and so you guys were talking past each other really :-(

> He went on to say "you are so mad at me" and he did look hurt. I backed off at this point, feeling a little silly.

I'm sorry he couldn't take / accept / hold your anger :-(

Sounds to me that while he might be able to accept positive transference he has difficulty with accepting negative transference.

I'm sorry.

If I were you I'd be feeling a lot hurt and disappointed and mad right now. And that is just in response to that particular encounter, that isn't even going back to the other stuff.

I'm sorry.