I'm quite consumed by the thought. It happens off and on. I hate it and it steals the living in the present. But my mind is crazy like that.

Last night I had those stupid thoughts like... if there is a god, can he play dice with himself and not know the outcome? (He should be restricted from nothing and able to do anything!) Also wondered if god can commit suicide (He should be able to.... or he's not God)... and I wonder if he already did.

I hate having this small human mind that can't grasp stuff.

And yea, I thought I'd be dead 15 years ago. So that's weird too.