I think getting anxious about "detail" before deciding what exactly we want to talk about about sex just makes us more anxious.

Can you say something like: "I was sexually abused when I was 12 by my mother's boyfriend."? Figure out the most complete sentence you can and then start imagining questions you would ask if someone said it to you (or you read it in a book as a case study if that helps make you feel better).

POSSIBLE TRIGGER!

What exactly was the sexual abuse? Were you raped, groped, did they rub themselves against you, masturbate on you. If you ask the questions of yourself, you can control the situation because you are "both" sides. Then you will be a bit prepared because you will have already asked the question and "heard"/admitted/"know" the answer you want to give.

I was "felt up" from behind by a service worker in my home, pressed up against my back. I was only 10 (sad to think he was trying to get his jollies from a flat-fronted 10 year old? Shows it's not about "sex" but power?) and just knew something "bad" was happening, that he should not be that close to me, that I did not like it, that I was frightened. I never told my stepmother or anyone (was horrified of turmoil and what might happen) and the guy worked for my father so when my father changed job locations and we moved across country, so did the guy! However, he didn't work in my home anymore and I just avoided him like the plague in situations where he was likely to be when I was at my father's work, etc. It affected my later attitudes toward sex and I even had a dream about him 40+ years later where I met him and was taking him to my elderly stepmother in a "remember him?" sort of way.

The kicker is he was the same nationality as my T (non-US native)! When my one, group T, suggested I call my T to be my individual T, the whole "problem" came back and I didn't know what to do/say. It took a good 20+ years before I mentioned it to her.