Hello Strangeskies: I'm so sorry for your plight. I'm an older person. But, still, you & I have a few things in common. My parents were also older when I was born. I was an only child. I was often a target for neighborhood bullies outside of school until my parents moved us out to a rural area. At that point, I was just alone, except when I was in school, where I was bullied both verbally & physically for years.

I'm in the U.S. I grew up at a time, & in a place, where one simply did not talk about one's problems with anyone. Everyone knew about the bullying I endured. But nobody cared. So I learned to just suck it up & keep to myself as much as possible. As a result, as you did, I learned not to trust anyone & to keep pretty-much to myself. To this day, all of these decades later, I still prefer to be alone, although I did manage to get married along the way. I haven't been employed now for over a dozen years & I spend most of my time on the internet too (although recently I've begun trying to pry myself away from it a bit.)

I did want to comment with regard to your love of Finland. I grew up in the northeastern part of the U.S. But as a teenager, I developed a love for the state of Alaska. I always wanted to go there & perhaps live there. Unfortunately, I never went there &, at this point, I probably never will. But, as a teenager & young adult, Alaska was my dream!

Your post, both in the title & at the end, said: "please help." So I'd like to ask what you thought of as being the help you might receive as a result of your post here on PC. I read the Reply from the other young man from Egypt who said he is in similar straits. I've also communicated, here on PC, with 1 or 2 other young Egyptian men whose circumstances are similar.

Although we live in very different countries, I can relate to some of what you experienced. And I know, from my contacts with other young Egyptian men, that therapy is near impossible to come by. So, if you can, please write about what you envision would be helpful. Thanks.