Since none of this other stuff seems to be working out for you, can you think of another option to help you keep yourself safe?

Is there a person, place or thing (other than your therapist, the hospital and/or the po-po & jail) where you can go and keep yourself safe until this current crisis passes?

Or is there someone you can call to come sit and be with you at your place until you feel a bit safer with and about yourself?

I hope you get some relief soon, and are able to do so without harming yourself or getting arrested and/or forced into a situation you won't have any say so over.

That will only make your situation even worse.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!