Hello Strangeskies, I have several ideas I want to share with you: First, congratulations on achieving your bachelor's degree! That is a huge accomplishment.

Second, I believe your feeling of love for Finland is a blessing, because it gives you hope, purpose, and YES, you can go there. You HAVE to get there, my friend.

The third thought I have in my mind is to assure you that even though you feel alone, you are not alone. My parents were older when I was born, too. My sisters were 15 and 18 years of age when I was born, and were out of the house when I grew up so I might just as well have grown up an only child. My parents were jaded and had lost much of their joy for life by the time I was born. They were bitter toward each other and disappointed with their lives. I was supposed to make them happy again - a very big burden. They were no happier, but I was certainly depressed as a child. By the time I was a teen my parents both had failing health. My father ran off with another woman. I had to care for my mother (she was also extremely depressed and never left the house), so there was no hope for me to go away to university.

At this point I have lost both parents and all of my aunts and uncles. My sisters and cousins are many years older than I am. Of course, grandparents are long gone. My sisters and parents had an entire life before I was born - I've often felt as though I was just dropped into their house like an alien. So, yes...it is very difficult to be born to older parents. I learned a lot from my parents, but frankly I resent having parents who were old enough to be my grandparents. When I was a kid, it hurt to look at photos of the good times my parents and sisters had long before I was born.

My hope for you is that you get a job and save money to travel to Finland. With all the hardship you have lived through, you are still young and have many chances and a life ahead of you.