I've talked about this in my introduction thread.

I'm in my middle 40s and growing up all I wanted was a husband who loved me 2.5 kids, a dog, a cat, all living in the white picket fenced house.

I've been with my partner for almost 19 years and he flatly refuses to get married. When he first mentioned this I thought that eventually he would ask me, especially when the children started to arrive.

I just don't think it's right that after all this time he hasn't stepped forward and did the right thing. I also mull over what's the point now.

He has never done anything remotely romantic for me. I've never received a bday gift from him, no notes, no flowers, he has never said I looked nice and the last time he said I love you was 14 yrs ago.

I'm finding that other people's happiness makes me depressed. His sister has the life I wanted. I hate holidays, seeing people happy. A friend wanted me to see the engagement ring he bought his girlfriend, I pulled out my best reaction but in my mind I couldn't care less and avoid the announcement on Facebook.

My job is the same. One of our accounts was critically low in sales, only 30.00 in sales for the month. Our manager said we needed to improve. Within 3 wks, I sold 735.00 of product and everyone else in the department including the manager sold less than 100.00 and my manager didn't even recognize my achievement, she just thanked everyone as a group.

No one celebrates my successes. I hate feeling jealous but I just want the happiness everyone else has. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this.

Sorry, I'm just really sad today.