I'm sorry you are sad. It sounds like you are hanging around with the "wrong" people for what you want. The last time your partner said he loved you was 14 years ago? Makes me wonder why you have been living with him since 2000 and not moved on to someone who loves you and tells you so! Why are you trying to do well at a job where they don't appreciate you? I'm sure you could get a job with competitors, easily, and they'd appreciate you!

You have nothing to be jealous of, you are as good as they are, as "worthy", it's the idiots around you that are missing out, not seeing it. You're the right size, it's the pants that don't fit. Throw those pants away