Well it went good. He felt so bad about yesterday. I told him it was not his fault, I just freaked out. He had to kind of giggle; we both did. He said he would never do that unless I had a plan to "end all" and he knew about it. Anyway, He is phoning my regular psyciatrist on Monday to arrange hospital. He wants me to go in and talk with him. He has more of my history. He said that he wanted to avoid hospital so the lawyers wouldnt eat it alive; but when he saw my cuts; he was very concerned. He asked me if I felt that the loss of my baby triggered this; I broke down completely and nodded yes. He said that there is just too much piled on my plate and we need to sort through this mess. He gave me meds though and I agrued with him. I was so frustrated I started to stutter and could not get it out. He saw my frustration and wrote the presciption anyway. He pleaded with me to at least start it and discuss it with my other doc when I see him. So I will hear more next week. He said if I run into an emergency with the self harm to contact him. We talked about when I have to take the kids to dad's and I said that this is my biggest fret right now. I told him that after I take them is when I would be at most risk. He realizes this too. So there we go.
Thanks for the encourgment and support. I will post more when I know more.
itsjustme
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"Through the rain lives a rainbow...you just need to find it."
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