My heart goes out to you because your partner is hurting you in so many ways and you deserve so much better out of life. You would probably have more peace in your life without this man, and I understand you are staying with him partly for the children. I wonder if the kids sense the tension and the problems. If so it is not fair to them but remember, it is his fault, not yours. He is the one causing the problem and having the "emotional affair." I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do with your situation. I just wish you did not have to suffer this way.