hey okiedokie. thanks for your response. yeah... maybe i am putting myself through hell... though... maybe... this is just a way of trying to tease out some of the emotions i'm feeling... i don't know :-(

> Pdocs and Ts are just people! You know that ...you are studying to become one. And a fine one you'll be!

thanks... but i really should clarify that i'm not studying to become one though i am thinking a little about studying to become one one day. at the moment... i'm a philosopher. i study issues in the philosophy of psychology / psychiatry... but theory theory theory rather than practice...

> Your thoughts are not having any effect, whatsoever, on his baby.

yeah. i know that really... i guess i just worry because there is some jealousy... and i feel bad about that. not very much jealousy though. mostly... regret. about my own past, i guess. sad.

but yeah. freaking out, i guess.

i told him it was okay to take his time to respond. and i thought i meant it. but of course i didn't really. or if i did then i have to take it back. because i do mind. i DO. i mind quite a lot actually. working up into a bit of a state worrying about stuff i sent him... i wish i didn't feel this way :-(