The thoughts aren't that new. I think they started about two years ago. They don't bother me so much as the fact that I'm too stupid to figure out other options bothers me. If I were smart, I wouldn't be stuck here thinking death is the only way to get away from all of the BS. But I am because I fail at everything that you need to be good at to get by in society.

I won't deserve anything until I can figure out how to get the money needed to get out of this house and then, if I still feel like I need it, to go to therapy. People without the money for things are "entitled" if they think they deserve them.