If it is out of hand and you are scared of being a danger to yourself ... then calling for help or seeing if you can go inpatient might be the safest option
Are you able to talk to your therapist about this (not sure where you are at with therapy currently)? or is there a crisis line that you can contact to see if they can give you some help if you aren't going to try ip?

I hope you can find a way to stay safe