I may not understand fully what you're going through, but I can relate to parts.

When I turned 18, my entire family abandoned me. My entire church (which my family did NOT attend and consisted of about 300 members) abandoned me. I was homeless. No roof, two changes of clothes, a toothbrush, hairbrush, no money, and no one. I never could imagine having the life i have now. But I did get myself out of that situation by seeking help.

If you are in the US, I'd suggest calling National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It's free, they can provide you with referrals, resources, and even be there just to listen. They are trained professionals.

I know it's hard to see beyond the darkness, but there is a future that awaits you.