Life has become so bland. Nothing I do, not even the stuff my therapist suggested, is Giving me pleasure. This episode has started around May or around there with little aviation. This infinite sadness will never go away. I'm psychologically distressed, I can't stop worrying about multiple things. The psychiatrist I called a week ago hasn't bothered to respond, so I can't get medication, and all I have is a therapist, which isn't seeming to help. I've gotten worse since I started. I want to end my life. What's the point in life? I see nothing exciting in my future. It looks honestly bleak. My positive self-esteem doesn't exist. My next appointment is Saturday, and I really feel like commiting suicide. Or at least self-harming, whether it's cutting or burning or whatever, just to see if I can still feel pain. I've never had impulses to self-harm before yesterday, I've only had suicidal impulses, which I excessively worry about acting on (OCD problem, I know).

Can I have some reasons not to commit suicide?