Unfortunately you cant control what other people do. if you are in the USA in regards to court and trying to get custody of or over someone else anyone whether that person is a relative or not can at any time go to court to try to obtain custody over an abusive parent, or even an adult who they feel is not taking care of their selves.

example we get many grandparents, neighbors, and friends coming in the crisis center that I work at reporting abuse of a child or adult and they decide to go through the court system to obtain custody of that person so that the person being abused does not have to be in the foster care system or a nursing facility. we even get cases where complete strangers who witness abuse of a child, through helping that child by intervening helping that child to safety they form a bond and choose to become that childs foster parent or guardian legally.

thats just the way america is, we have the freedom to do what we want in abuse cases, we as humans can look the other way or we can help that child get out of that abusive home, and regardless of the relationship or lack there of a relationship can take court action to see that that abused person is safe,and has a safe place to live.

Im not saying that those who go through the court system to obtain guardianship over a child will win. thats in the hands of the courts, social services. what I can tell you is that here in NY if there is a parent that meets all the criteria for being able to safely,provide that child with a stable home, the courts side with the parent rather than another relative, friend or stranger/foster system.

if this other person trying to gain custody was here in NY they would have to undergo the same social services investigation, mental/physical health investigation that the biological parents do. even in situations where parents have died and a family of relatives are at war all trying to gain custody have to go through the same process before a court will award anyone custody. because the court system will do whats best for the children, not whats best with the adults fighting with each other over who gets the child like some treasured object rather than a small human being.

another thing that happens here in NY when children are involved/the focus of a court case, the court appoints that child a lawyer who will talk with the children and take into consideration of what that childs needs and wants are.

my suggestion stay calm, breath and let the court system do the stressing out. if it turns out the court awards the children to someone else well all is not lost, you can appeal, or you can petition the court for custody at a later date after you have completed what ever goals/requirements the court has set in order for you to become the childrens custodial parent.

I know its not easy and its stressful to be in this situation but the most important thing is the children. so my next suggestion is as hard as it is to do try and put that in the front of things and your problems with this other person in the background.