The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life (and countless other womens')

Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud...excellent resource.

It is important to have good boundaries and we can learn them. No one has the right to define who you are or what your feelings are. Simply state what you think and feel and no need to respond to others who disagree, etc. People get uneasy or angry when you have good boundaries....those are the people who say "toughen up" etc.......that is ridiculous.

Don't be a punching bag; when others see you are respecting yourself, they will feel respect for you (although they may not show it)......just simply state what you think and feel. If people continue to be disrespectful, stop having any important conversations.

Never apologize or argue about your feelings and thoughts. They are yours; no one has the right to tell you who they think you are. You and you alone....define that.
When someone disagrees with you or tells you you should/shouldln't feel how you feel; you can simply state.....oh, I see.......no defending yourself, etc........