There's been research done in Italy that shows watching excessive amounts of porn can trigger what the researchers called "sexual anorexia." In other words, loss of the desire to have normal sexual relations. It can even become much more difficult for people to reach climax during masturbation.

The porn addict needs more and more stimulation to feel aroused and they begin to believe the way people behave in pornography represents or should represent daily reality. Anything less than the increasing stimulation that one can get by watching more and more explicit porn is no longer arousing.

This has nothing to do with you being undesirable or not good in the bedroom. Your partner's behavior is an increasingly common symptom of porn addiction in young men. There's even quite a black market in Viagra and Cialis sales to healthy young men in their 20s to early 40s because after watching hours and hours of porn daily, they can no longer get it up with a real woman or real man.

This is not just a problem between men and women. It can impact any relationship. There's research that shows heavy porn use changes the reactions in the arousal and pleasure parts of the brain.

All this research is fairly recent, it needs to be replicated by other researches and it needs (in my opinion) to stay out of the hands of moralists and the kinds of groups who have a stake in proving that all things other than marital intercourse are evil and wrong. Porn exists, it'll always exist, whether it's outlawed or legal. The reasons why some people get hooked on it are unknown, but the problem is in the addict and only he can do something about it.

The internet has made porn available and free-to-cheap in cost and easy to access in ways that were never possible in the past. So this problem is becoming more and more common in people of all ages and backgrounds.

If your partner is watching porn practically all day at work, which could risk his employment depending on his employer's policies, if he is still uninterested in sex despite the fact that you're in the best shape of your life and if his idea of romance is having you service him with oral sex, well ... it sure does sound like he has the symptoms of the researchers discovered in young men who viewed a lot of on-line porn.

In the Good Old Days (said sarcastically) the woman was always blamed for her partner's addiction, be it alcohol, drugs, gambling, whatever. If she was just a better woman and better partner etc etc, the man wouldn't turn to substances or compulsions for comfort. That's just plain untrue, wrong and hurtful.

Maybe he turned to porn for comfort when you were far advanced in your pregnancy and just after you delivered because most women don't feel totally sexy at that time. Fathers have to show some patience and consideration during that time. That's just the way it is for most couples.

Maybe he had no ill intentions at all , just wanted a little stimulation and entertainment, but he got hooked. It can happen to the best of people.

I can't tell you whether it's a good idea to stay or go, but I can tell you it would be wise to learn everything you can about addiction. It would also be wise to look into resources in your community for partners of addicts. Some groups may not be an exact fit, but could help nonetheless because every addict lies, blames, denies, promises, breaks promise, causes bogus fights and almost all addicts end up feeling almost unbearable guilt and shame and anger.

Self-help groups like Alanon and Codependents Anonymous can give hints on how to deal with another person's addictions and compulsions without driving yourself into a breakdown in the process. I'm so sorry you're going through this and please remember that it's not your fault. Self-help groups or therapy aimed at partners of addicts can help your not fall into the trap of enabling and unhelpful anger and blame. Take care of yourself and your baby. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this.