freefallin: As you I can´t afford therapy at private practises but I would really advice you to give therapy a try, at least for one session. I now mean publically financed therapy that seems easier to get into through a distric health care centre and get therapy way cheaper.

If you don´t have to pay or just pay a little I think you don´t have much to lose and me myself is a skeptical person who don´t just rush into things. I mean, I wouldn´t give you this piece of advice if I didn´t think it could help you.

I feel that never having a relationship becomes a bigger and bigger issue if you don´t deal with it and try to figure out why. Perhaps you know exactly why in your case but for me I think there are several deeper issues that have to be dealt with, preferably in therapy.

To me it seems it´s easier for you in the US to get therapy, you have a lot more insurance possibilities so I think you could give it a try and find some kind of therapist.