as I said right now I am not doing any of this and it makes me feel like running away to even read that list again. don't know why I wrote that.
I don't know how I could ever tackle one of those or why I should even try.
there have been so many times of frustration and failure and embarrassment in the past I don't know how I can find the will to try again.
could give you a much better list with detailed explanations why I shouldn't try any of these.

yeah, therapy is supposed to help. but I think I'm not there yet.