Giosine, if I have acted in an offensive way toward someone which I later regret, I don't ask them to forgive me. I apologize and tell them I am sorry I acted the way I did. Then I leave it up to them to decide to forgive me or not. So far, not everyone has forgiven me, but no one has tried to continue the fight.

When I apologize and admit I erred and say that I'm sorry for the way I acted, I'm focusing on my own actions and my own responsibility. That all comes out as "I" statements.

If I ask someone to forgive me, then I'm actually making a demand that they do something. Even if I say it nicely and humbly, I'm still expecting them to do something to make me feel better over the fact that I acted badly. That often doesn't work. It will work if the other person is mature and calm, but that's another demand -- they must act maturely and calmly in order to make me feel better. If the other person is actually kind of hot-headed, asking for forgiveness may rile up their temper.

If you won't feel right unless you can ask for forgiveness, start out with a sincere apology for wanting to fight when you were intoxicated. Tell him that you were wrong and that you're sorry for causing turmoil in your drunken state.

I hope that when you do run across the other fellow you can both shake hands, that you can offer an apology for acting badly while intoxicated, and that he will accept your apology. Take care.