I wish I could tell you there was an easy way to make all the bad feelings to go away, but there is not. I went through something similar with my brother, and a family friend. It took a few years of treatment for depression and anxiety to figure out that I was a victim, even if I didn't fight them off. Today (20 years later) I still suffer from depression, but I think I'm over those events. Things do get better. Forgive yourself for doing something you later regretted. And stick to your decision to not let your brother stay at your house. I think you should tell your parents what happened, but not until you come to terms with it. It might help your parents understand you. Even if they don't believe you, you got it off your chest. (((hugs)))