Hi Verity, thanks for posting. No, luckily, very luckily, I don't think that when I see a girl in the street, thank goodness! No, I think only positive things when I see girls, how pretty they are and how much I would like to have love and a relationship in my life (not necessarily with the girl I'm seeing). I can't stand seeing things like rape on the telly or on the news, it hurts me very much. No, it's not that I'm having a problem with, I'm not having evil thoughts about girls. I have no thoughts of hurting girls or any bad thoughts whatsoever that I'm trying to repress or squash or something like that. I genuinely love girls too much to ever hurt them, and I really really mean that. I'm sorry if it wasn't too clear from my previous post (I was very emotional), but I want to say I don't have such thoughts, thank goodness!

The problem I'm having is when I begin to interact with girls, or when I have to interact with them for some reason, or even just look at them. It's then when out of the blue I begin to feel like some pervert or like a dirty old rapist guy, I really don't know why. I feel disgusting around women and I feel as though I'm violating them simply talking to them. When a girl touches me and I have to touch her back (say a hug for example) it gets really bad and it feels almost like I've just raped her or done something really bad I shouldn't have. In my mind I'm also convinced that she feels sick and disgusted and cringes just by the mere thought of me perhaps touching her. I can't even say hi or smile at a girl without me feeling like I'm paying her inappropriate attention or I've violated her somehow. My mind is so messed up .