I love my family. My mom, my dad, my brother... i really do.

but im going crazy because of how much i hate them at the moment. all of them.

i still live with them and theres no way i can get my own place or avoid them enough. i already avoid them as much as possible.

how do i deal with this?

i have restarted drinking and selfharming and taking pills only to cope with the present situation at home. and yes, im thinking about suicide again too. i dont see any way out.

i hate them so much its consuming me. but i would never confront them because it would destroy them and i dont even think its their fault or they deserve it. they are good and doing their best. its all in my head. and its going to explode anytime now.

please, some help? thanks