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pinksoil said:

Ugh. I know that I have completely transferred my attraction to older men onto him. And it's complete transference. I mean, he's an okay looking man, but I don't think I would be attracted to him if I just saw him on the street. I think that's why I am obsessed with making sure I look perfect before I go to therapy each week. **Embarrassing confession of the month coming up** Because I want him to find me attractive. I would enjoy it if I could make him attracted to me. (Dying here....) I even feel this weird attraction when I see men outside of therapy that resemble him in any way. THIS IS SO HORRIFYING. And now I think he knows this based on what we talked about yesterday. I mean, he knows this happens in analysis. I know this happens in analysis. And based on the fact that I told him I have always been drawn to older men, and men in a position of authority and I'm much more interested in getting other men to be attracted to me rather than my husband, because I've already accomplished that, then I'm pretty sure he put 2 and freaking 2 together.

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Stop beating yourself up! That's not horrifying. I try to look perfect too when I go in there. And, although I don't think I'm attracted to my therapist, I'd love it if he were attracted to me. But a good therapist -- which I think you and I both have -- will treat that attraction (or desire to have him attracted to us) therapeutically, rather than by attempting to sleep with us (dammit). So don't worry so much about it. From everything I've read (and I'm not in the psych field, so definitely not an authority), this is totally normal anyway. They expect it. It's hard not to feel any sort of attraction to a person who knows you intimately like a therapist will!

Here's an embarrassing confession to make you feel better: I recently ordered new checks (for my checkbook) because I decided the image on the last ones (whatever the cheapo random images are) wasn't good enough for when I give a check to my therapist each month.

Is that pathetic or what?

Sidony