Hi, werewoman. My mom has borderline characteristics, so I know what you are talking about. She did have a terrible childhood, and I suspect my grandmother had borderline characteristics as well. My mom doesn't suspect anything is wrong with her, especially because she also has narcisisstic personality disorder.

I also feel some sympathy for my mother and believe she has tried to be a good mom. She could be nurturing, but she couldn't give me what I really needed either.

I have spent a long time in therapy and have been able to forgive her. I also developed borderline personality disorder and had a hard time being a good mother. But therapy has helped me to get over this problem.

I still can't spend a lot of time with my mom, but I also try to be understanding.