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Originally Posted by Verity81
That feeling of 'feeling like a pervert or rapist' isn't justified. What I'm guessing you are feeling is unjustified guilt, shame and fear? Therefore in order to lessen that feeling you could do what causes it again and again, hence interact more with women. If you find you are avoiding interacting with a girl then try your best (and it's not easy) to not avoid. The theory is the more you do something the more habituated you get to it and the feelings lessen. You could start off by noticing if you avoid women at checkouts, and purposefully join the line with the female cashier even if a male is available.
You already know you are not a pervert so you have the evidence to also challenge that. Thinking 'I bet she is feeling creeped out by me' is again your opinion but not necessarily hers. It's also a thought and not fact so notice it and let it pass as best you can. Has anyone ever said to you that you are creepy or disgusting? I'm wondering if this has been sparked off by an incident in your past? Even if someone did say that, again it's not necessarily true.
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Honestly, I can't ever recall a girl ever saying I was creepy or disgusting. If something has affected me, it appears to be really repressed and deep as it is not surfacing in my memories thinking back. It appears to be sub-concious perhaps. Is there any way my parents' dysfunctional marriage could have something to do with it? For as long as I can remember, I can never recall them touching or kissing or anything. In fact, as a child, I remember seeing other couples holding hands and kissing and stuff and actually thought that was abnormal, because my parents were also a couple and never did that. Sometimes my mom says my dad is disgusting, and they also sleep in different beds for the past 15 years or more, she says she doesn't want to sleep with him in the same bed. Do you think this could have contributed to it?