How about this...... since he says the marriage is all on you--- tell him you've taken the reins like he's suggested and you've made an appointment with a marriage counselor(of course you have to make that a "fact" in doing it)--- now, the ball is in his court if he's going to go or not-- you held up your side of the deal!

You are in a very tough place-- I'm sorry for what you are going through.

mandy