The place where I got hung up in your post was here:

Quote:

Her dad tried to get her to smile and open up be just kind of getting in her face and tickling her (I admit that it IS annoying when he does that). She tells him to stop but he doesn't and then she stands up with raised fist and says 'Would you f****** stop it?!" He immediately stopped and gave her a lecture that she is not to use that language towards him

Oh, dear. Here's a notice to all fathers, step-fathers, uncles and grandfathers: Keep your hands off the bodies of teenage girls. Stay out of their faces. Your attentions are not only unwelcome, they give the message that the girl has no right to her own body space.

Your husband blew it. He doesn't recognize proper boundaries. When a girl asks you to stop touching her body, you stop. He didn't. Her reaction may have been crude and disrespectful, but it was the right reaction. Men who keep grabbing deserve a fist in the face and ordered to F****** stop. At 16, she's old enough to stand up for herself. Good for her. And shame on your husband for forcing her to such drastic actions and emotions.

Yeah, the girl's behavior is obnoxious and maybe her mom doesn't say nice things, but there's nothing either you or your husband can do about that. But he can change the way he interacts with her. He's so tone deaf when it comes to parenting a teenage girl that it's no wonder she was in such an ugly mood after being alone with him all day.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I'm a step-mother myself to a daughter who was a less than splendidly-behaving teenager. But she grew up into an okay adult and we put all the ugly teenage scenes behind us.

I don't know if this relationship can be salvaged. I think your husband needs therapy badly or parenting classes or something. Until he's willing to acknowledge that he doesn't know how to parent a teenage girl and that he made some serious mistakes, I don't know if it's even safe for his daughter to be in your home. Unless your husband changes his way of interacting drastically, you have a situation that could easily escalate to violence.

I wish you the best of luck in resolving this thorny issue.