I know that I shouldn't keep it bottled up...it's just what I've always done. Annoyingly I haven't seen my T for maybe 5 weeks now and won't see him for another 2 weeks. And my other support is out of the office doing her other job role or something. There are other people I could contact if it gets really bad but I hate to do that.

The intensity is going up and down this evening. A couple of hours ago it was really bad and I almost just decided to end it then. It spiralled before I had a chance to talk to anyone. It's not so bad right now but I can feel it building again.

Why is this happening again?!