Quote:
Originally Posted by StbGuy
Honestly, I can't ever recall a girl ever saying I was creepy or disgusting. If something has affected me, it appears to be really repressed and deep as it is not surfacing in my memories thinking back. It appears to be sub-concious perhaps. Is there any way my parents' dysfunctional marriage could have something to do with it? For as long as I can remember, I can never recall them touching or kissing or anything. In fact, as a child, I remember seeing other couples holding hands and kissing and stuff and actually thought that was abnormal, because my parents were also a couple and never did that. Sometimes my mom says my dad is disgusting, and they also sleep in different beds for the past 15 years or more, she says she doesn't want to sleep with him in the same bed. Do you think this could have contributed to it?
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It does sound like that could have triggered this. As children our parents are the first couple we see interacting. There maybe other things your parents have said about each other that you were too young to remember but never the less formed a schema of what relationships are like in your brain. Even though you are older now and know that intimacy and affection are part of a healthy relationship you may only really know this logically but 'feeling' wise it's connected with 'disgust'. If as a child you have heard your dad called disgusting it's possible you could have internalised this as little boys will identify with the male role model in their lives. It's still possible to change this, a good therapist will be able to help you.