I'm sure something like this has been posted about a million times before. but due to my short attention span I can't find it right now.

I haven't had a boyfriend in years and can't figure out why. I'm being rather frustrated now.
seem to be lacking the possibility because I never even get in touch with anybody.

people here where I live do not talk to each other on the street. it's generally a cold and unfriendly place. I go to bars a lot but others there only talk to people they brought and they already know. If I talk to anyone at all I end up the same. talking to the people I already know even if I don't want that.
Of course it is impolite to end a conversation in order to look for other people. so I find myself listening to them for a whole evening which may also be nice but I will never talk to anyone new. my acquaintances are all girls!! not because I chose that but because for some unknown reason only girls talk to me. and they never introduce me to any friends.
(lately I have almost not met any people at all though.)

there is this other thing I go to sometimes, let's just say it's the "go out and join a workshop" part. and it's the same there.

when I was younger everything was easier. I don't remember it being particularly difficult having a boyfriend when I was in school. not compared to now. life was changing more often then. for me now it has been the same for a long time and nothing has changed although I tried a lot of different things.
I tried to be charming and talkative, put on a nice dress sometimes. I went places and did new things, like classes, workshops etc., volunteered, did anything I like and where you could meet people. then I tried pretending I don't care, then I actually didn't care for a while, then I started wondering again if life is ever going to change.

the only thing I learned was that I found out how to make people think I was looking for anonymous sex, which I don't.

also I must add that during the years there have been a few persons among my friends/acquaintances that (were male and) I found interesting. but if I suggested having a drink together (not hinting at anything else than a casual meeting of friends) they would decline and chose to hang out with other people than me. or rather be alone than spending any time with me.

I wouldn't say that I am particularly ugly or look very old or anything scary. but when I go out with friends only they will be addressed by other people, not me. it's like I am invisible. from my girlfriends I often get compliments for my beautiful and extravagant dresses. so I guess I am not physically invisible.
I'm not a crazy over the top spinster sort of person either. I'm rather a bit shy but can talk at the right moments.

right now I've come to believe that I am just lacking some basic social skills. because it's similar for me with finding friends but not quite as bad. (I did actually find a few friends during the last couple of years.)

I guess there is a good chance that this is not going to have any answers. but well, at least I've tried…