I honestly think I need help, I stay with guys that I don't want anymore. I can't stand to be alone but don't have to be alone. When I get a text from my lover it fills me with such happiness. Something I usually don't feel. I feel embarssed that I allow this but I can't help. I feel so unhappy with love in my life.

Am not sure why I do this. I been in a abusive relationship in the past that was beyond controlling and abusive. I broke it off. And growing up and still is my mom has narcsistic personality disorder and treats me like the scapegoat .My confidence is getting better but I seem to keep failing into these old habits of fear of being alone or lonely. I still talk to a guy that used me. When things are to much I rarely cut myself. Sometimes Thinkbabout doing hard drugs to deal with the absent ness of former bf.I hate being lonely. I can be alone but when am with someone, I want then to stay forever. I just want to be happy insideclike when I am with someone. I think I really need help. What wrong with me and what do I do to get better?