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I have been dating this guy for about a month now. We had our third date this past weekend, and during then we, *ahem* did the deed. It wasn't as awkward as it could have been, despite my being sexually inactive for over a year. Overall it was a good time.
Yesterday I was on the fence on whether or not I should be the first to communicate with him after our little rendezvous, for fear I might come off as clingy (it had been more than 24 hours since we last spoke to each other, mind you). I worked up the courage and just texted him on my break at work and acted like normal. While he eventually did respond to me later in the night, I got pretty emotional and thought that he wouldn't talk to me anymore, that he got what he wanted and now he's done with me.
I'm still feeling that way, a little. I'm not as emotional about it as I was last night, most likely because he responded to me. I've been plagued by thoughts like, 'What if I didn't wait long enough to give it up?' or 'What if I've been used?' or 'What if after that experience he's decided he's not all that interested after all?' Sometimes I wonder if he's just as worried as I am right now.
This is just all so frustrating... I really hope it's just my anxiety creating its own stupid fantasies in my head and that things are actually fine and progressing into a long-term relationship. It's terrible to be presented with hope for something good, only to have it shatter and leave you disappointed and depressed.
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