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Old Aug 05, 2014, 11:11 PM
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ThisWayOut ThisWayOut is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: in my own little world
Posts: 4,227
Quote:
Originally Posted by tealBumblebee View Post
I can relate. Most recently I've gone weeks/months without even thinking about it (like at all) and then WAM! i'm doing things worse than ever. I guess that's what people mean when they say that it [can be] an "addiction". Do you know if there was anything that could have triggered the thoughts subconsciously?
not that I can pinpoint right now. body memories are starting up again, but they feel like they are a result of the urges to self-harm, and not the triggers to them. feeling very vulnerable and needy right now, so maybe that's what it is. I don't like feeling this way, so I tend to mask it to myself with the self-injury. I can't reach out if I'm cutting becuase then I will get in trouble, so then I have to stuff the neediness down... other than that, I'm not really sure what may be fueling this.
I, also, noticed that things get worse after a "break" from the self-harm... I'm no longer "satisfied" with/by the level it was at, so I need to take it a step higher. ****ing addictions...
Hugs from:
Road_to_recovery, tealBumblebee