I told my mom about the death force tonight. She wanted to know if there was anything for her to be concerned about. Her response? "Pray about it, and remember that you're not like that". It doesn't matter if I'm "like that" or not...a very evil, malevolent force in the universe wants me dead.

It tried to kill me today by making me really shaky before I had to go out driving. I think I was hypoglycemic, because I drank some soda and the shakiness got better. Anyway, I evaded the death force by asking my friend to come to my place, so I didn't have to drive when I was so shaky.

It's scary that it has moved beyond the suicidal thoughts in ways to kill me. And I still don't know why it is after me. I mean, I know there is something that I am destined to do, something important, if I stay alive, and that scares the death force shitless. But I have no clue as to what that special mission might be. Most of the time, I feel pretty insiginficant.

It's nice to have a place to talk about this stuff without seeming "crazy".

I'm seeing a new doctor on Thursday. Hopefully I can start getting off of zyprexa.