As its been said, don't fear the future but live in the now! Live one day at a time. Thinking to far ahead can be overwhelming and unnecessary too!
I too held onto friendships that were unhealthy and had to let them go. It's more important to be mentally healthy then worry about unhealthy relationships.
Thinking of you first should take precedence over all. Get healthy for you, not worry about others.
I had to do the same, and understand what your going through. It does get better when you take charge of you!
Remember, live on day at a time. But live it for you most importantly.
Be safe, and take care!