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muse said:
So maybe that's why it's "not okay to be okay", as you put it, Rapunzel. You know what, though... I love getting attention, but I often deflect it away from myself, especially when I need it most. I am an extremely mild person, and saying something bad about other people or getting what I want (and possibly deserve and/or need) from them is really rare for me. So maybe that's it... I've been in situations where really messed up people have received tons of attention from me, so perhaps subconsciously I believe that if I'M that wacky I'll have an excuse to take a little more for me (thought I don't really need it, truthfully).

WEIIIIRRRDD... but thanks again for the good think.
~muse

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Hey, I understand that completely ... that's how I feel!



It seems you've got a good handle on what's up with you and causing you to SI, so I hope you can find other methods to cope in time.