I just got off the phone with my mom... and I feel so worthless. I can not help her in the way I want to.. She is having major issues with her back, and now is going to have to have surgery yet again on it.. she is so tiny compared to me, in size and I love her so much, I want to be with her all the time so I can take care of her..

She is questioning if I care for her, wich I now and understand is her "deperssion" starting to show, but how do you tell someone that they need to seek advice, when she will deny it.. I know she will cause I ahve talked to her about it before..

I love my mom, but she also has custody of my oldest daughter and it scares me to think that she may not be able to take care of herself let alone anyone else... I am so scared on what to do...
This dragon is falthering in so many ways right now, my deperssion is strating to bring up things I do not want to deal with, nor do I have the nerve to handle right now..
My wings are falthering, and ready to give up again..
I do not know if I can handle this all alone.. Even with the help of Bryon my beloved with me by my side..

I have never felt this helpless in my life before, I want to help her out, but I do not know how.. I can not be with her she is over 5 hours away, and I can not dirve up there cause I do not have the money to do that overnight.. I would love to see her daily, but I can not handle that kind of drive and still be able to afford to go to school, and put food on my table
*dragon tears flowing like a river*

I am lost, and do not know if I want to be found..

<font color=red>
I am not worthy of your love
I am not worthy of life
Let me die
Let me die, just let me die