It is interesting that OE describes apathy as the defence against tender feelings. Just BEFORE Prozac apathy set it. I had noticed that my feelings were back. I didnt feel "rage as defense against pain" when I learned of a neighbors tragedy. I felt such pleasant melancholy that I became ashamed, and that's the last thing I felt before it was all apathy.

I'm a WASP. We do ennui, and contentment and disapproval. And whiskey. I so wish I could have an Irish whiakey right now.

My MOTHER yawns involuntarily in the part of a conversation where her empathy should be. Sigh.

I know a borderline man who does NOT experience empathy. No idea what is it. He tries.to fake it and its creepy. I think mom does experience it in an undifferentiated and overwhelming way. She has the right receptors but finds them too painful to use? I don't know.

Both Mom and Mike (the mean little borderline) react with a start as of attacked if I try to feel into them. No one else has ever startled like that--oh God. Except the
Asylee..who flinched from my touch and my voice. My mother and Mike flinch in a very similar way from empathy, even if I am simply sitting behind a book not even looking atp them but just trying to feel them from across the room. They are the only ones. No one else objects. Mike startled like a darting dog and whirled on me to tell me to keep my energy to myself. I thought he was insane and he may be. But if as my friend from the health food store says I send a powerful signal as well as receiving, (I believe everything I hear from my elders, while I have elders) maybe I was poking Mike with my energy. He was poked by something

I really do believe the refugee kids I knew were able to communicate to me without language and that people traumatised as.children retain a sensitivity most of us outgrow or even prune. I could be wrong.