You lost your good paying job and "thought you could get it back". I can't help but think how much this makes me think of gambling. Chasing one's losses. I am sorry for this disaster. Maybe you could go to a counselor and you could tell your husband with the counselor there. The counselor could be your support as well as your protector, in the sense that your husband is probably going to not react as strongly as he would if you were alone.