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Originally Posted by ThisWayOut
I think the fact that she says that, coupled with you pulling back around this is pretty good evidence against the attention-seeking theory... just someting to think about. I know you work in the health field, so you get to see the "behind the scenes" attitudes of people. I know being in a similar position working with some pretty judgemental people cemented the judgements in my own head about myself. I know my old boss would have said that self-harming and crisis after crisis are negative-attention-seeking behavior from the clients we served. so when that happens with me, I see it the same way. I have yet to have a therapist say that about it though. When I mentioned that judgement to my new therapist recently (in more than one session), she made a point to ask if maybe it was all just a defense mechanism and a result of feeling hurt without having a better way to express it or deal with it as opposed to being attention-seeking in any negative way. It's just a hard line of thinking to give up...
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I really do want to believe it, but I was raised being told how dramatic I am...even won a 'drama queen' award at a summer camp (that my mom said was
not a compliment
) but I was always highly emotional...now I've just learned to become emotionless. Yet still I feel like I'm just too much.
And you're right. I actually was at work the other day and there was someone who came in for something and the nurse said something similar to "he's just attention seeking anyway..." And I told her - even if he
was attention seeking (although I don't think he was) - if someone is willing to go to
that level of pain/an extreme to receive attention; can't you see that they must need it? She quieted down, but I don't think she understood.
But still, I agree...it is a hard line of thinking to give up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisWayOut
that would make sense. I know it's something I do myself when distressing things of a similar nature come up. My go-to for body memories is self-harm. If I ever let them play out, they end up being full-on flashbacks of the events. I try to always cut it off at the beginning, (quite literally... huh, bad choice of words there)... what would be the implications of not giving in to the self-harm urges/desires for a bit? is your T available enough to try that experiment in case it becomes overwhelming or too uncomfortable?
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I see her once a week, but she's said that I am best able to deal with things bit by bit. T's tried forever to get me to allow myself to give in to the feelings instead of the urges but it's so hard (almost impossible). I'm always afraid that I will lose myself (in my brain/head space) if I allow myself to fully feel those things that have been holding me back. However, there is something she told me that I've been able to latch on to which hopefully will help me if I ever decide to believe it enough to act on it:
"Yes they feel uncomfortable. Yes, allowing yourself to feel can feel even worse than when they originally happened. But you know what? They're just feelings. And feelings are survivable."