If you can say you love them, then you do. It's normal to have less than lovely thoughts about someone you love. I live with my elderly dad, and I love him and don't want any thing bad to happen to him. But...he has treated me like crap my whole life and sometimes I really do feel like I hate him. I don't like him as a person.

You will find romantic love and will know when it happens. Just be patient and it will happen when you least expect it.