Hi Secretwhisper, sorry to hear you are having some trouble again. I have been offline for a couple of days due to intense migraine headaches. I couldn't even read my computer screen. It is strange about the destructive urges. I agree that you should tell your doctor or therapist about these, and if they are not available, tell someone you trust, other than the boss at work. Keep posting to us.

I'm like you I am terrible at keeping diaries. I start stuff like that and never finish it. Hope things go better for you. Pm me anytime you like.