I can't understand why it's too much for most people these days to be considerate. I do my very best to make sure that I am respectful of people's feelings and needs. I'm not perfect at all. But for some reason it's always the same things that upset me, such little things.
For instance, I was asleep. Because I am stressed I usually decide to try and just sleep because once I'm asleep my mind won't be racing. I went to bed around 1130. My boyfriend comes in and turns on the tv and makes all this noise around 2 am and wakes me up. He knows I'm stressed and wanted to sleep.
Whenever he is asleep I always make sure to be more than quiet because he's sleeping. It's the same anywhere else, at my parents or at a friends house. If they are asleep and I'm awake I make sure I am quiet. But it's seems as though people cannot do the same for me and it's frustrating because for some reason I feel that I deserve to have people be considerate of my feelings. And I don't know how to let it go. Now it's 3.15 am and I can't sleep. My body hurts, my head is starting to hurt and I just can't sleep and I know this might sound dumb and I'm complaining for nothing. But I need my sleep because I barely get any, so when I do I just wish I could be left to sleep and not be woken up because others around me don't seem to mind waking me up.
That's another thing, in my head it's like they don't care. I put so much energy into making sure others around me are happy and are okay, and it's like I'm setting myself up to be disappointed because I expect the same kind of care in return but I don't really get the same in return. I try to care more about myself and to do what I want to do to make myself happy and to treat myself , but it never works out because it's like I can't do that because it always gets interrupted so then I feel bad for ever thinking it was okay and maybe I'm being selfish.