I feel totally invisible to others. Feel lonely, depressed, and unwanted. Sure I have a group of people to hang around, but I feel like they really aren't real friends. They only talk about themselves or during regular conversations, keep ignoring me and leave me out. I am constantly left out of plans and feel like when they say they are really my friends, I feel like they are just saying that. I am not missed, even though one of them says they do since she barely texts me first unless she has something to complain about or if she wants to talk about her sex life. I have been in situations where I would be with them in a group setting and if I go a long period of time, I just quietly get up and leave if I can which most of the time I am able to. And they don't even notice. And if they do happen to see me leaving, they just say goodbye or whatever. Honestly as bad as it sounds, I feel like if something bad happened to me, like if I died or was hospitalized they would not care or notice. I am not an attention seeker but once I was hospitalized a few years ago and no one noticed or even cared and I didn't even have a group to hang out with at that time which is probably part of the reason but still, I feel like I am invisible to my group. And any group I enter is the same way. And honestly, if I passed away, I feel like they would not care. Sure they may ask what happened if anything and see why I died since most people are curious as to what caused the death of other people, but it wouldn't go beyond that. They would move on with their lives and not miss me. I just feel like that would be the case. Sometimes I wish I could just go asleep and never wake up, in all honesty. I constantly have a lurking feeling of loneliness and not being wanted by others. In those situations when I just get up and leave, they don't even ask where I had gone the next time they see me or wonder about my whereabouts after I leave. I am not doing that for attention, I do it because I feel like I am doing the right thing. I feel like I am doing them a favor, something they secretly want me to do which is leave them alone. And I feel like this is the case for any group I'm in. I have tried making new friends but they never work. I feel like I intimidate people as well. Like if I go to introduce myself, I may just receive a weird look from others. Once I introduced myself to someone who is now in the group I hang out with, she just looked at me funny like I was weird or something and walked away, rejecting my handshake. She talks to me now, since that happened in the beginning of last year but I still feel like she only tolerates me since we are in the same group and she feels obligated to talk to me. She only asks me to hang out when she has no one else to hang out with which is usually on weekends and actually have started avoiding her just a bit at the end of last school year. She doesn't notice or care. And I have been told that I give off a creepy or intimidating vibe because of how I look and who knows why else. I have been told that people prefer to talk to others than me and see that as the truth. :'( I really wish people would be more honest about what they think of me or what I am doing that is giving them a bad vibe. Just sick of life now and just want it to end, wish I was a different person or something.