I really am afraid to tell anyone irl. I'm afraid of the panic and worry it causes and the constant checking up on me. I'm afraid that once more they will say hospital is a good idea, I've already been there twice since May. I just wanna try and push through this on my own (and with pc) even though I'm finding it really hard. Really I just wanna curl up under a rock and hide for as long as possible, but that isn't an option!